how do i cope with all this stress?

meeting people's expectations is just so stressful, especially when the expectations you're stressing over is coming from your own flesh and blood. everything i do is wrong, everything i give is never enough, everything i dont do will be highlighted like im the worst person in the world.

dont worry, i will move out so. maybe that'll make you (finally) satisfied.





ya Allah, i never thought it would be like this.

Migraine Monday

Good Morning!

Monday went by in a blink of an eye. at least i have work to start the week to keep the days busy.

i had a terrible migraine last night, i usually get these weird warnings like flashes of light before an actual attack happens. i have severe migraines, which i never get out of easily; being bedridden and vomiting is a norm. i hate it when this happens. i cant eat, drink or open my eyes. the sounds and noises i hear are twice the louder, and my skull feels as if being drilled (not that i've experienced any drilling through the skull), which is pretty exaggerated but thats how painful the headache is. but i can never get an mc letter from my gp, he says its "too common", or i "came to the clinic too late" (how am i suppose to go to the clinic when my head needs to lie down and i cant see light? it makes me so angry). his medicines are working so far so i ain't complaining. mama made me a very strong ginger tea last night and that worked as well. i only need that hours and hours and sleep.

 so that was why my Monday went by so quickly. i spent most of last night sleeping my migraine off. i've been suffering from these attacks since i've started my internship back in 2012 (if my memory serves correctly) and its been coming and going randomly and suddenly without a clue what the trigger is, unfortunately. 

does anybody have the same attacks as me? not the mild headaches (which i also get) but the severe ones where you cant even function properly.

i pray for the day when there'd be a cure and the migraines never come back.

quite contrary

oh my goodness this is such a free week im actually updating nearly everyday.

my husband has no idea about this blog yet which is why nobody, not even a soul, knows about this blog. i vow to tell him first before sharing the link in my other social medias. but quite contrary to my week, husband is just too busy that i dont think it appropriate to tell him unimportant things such as this. its not that he'll get mad, but he'll simply just say 'ok nanti i tengok' then forget about it in an instance. so im waiting for him to come to kuching (on board the flight now as we speak) in an hour. we havent seen each other for two weeks im maaaajor excited!

alan rickman just passed away, its almost as if professor snape just left us. alan played snape just how i've imagined snape to be (one of the few harry potter characters that really suit my imagination from the book), his looks, his clothes, his voice, his attitude, fitted perfectly. although he has other major awesome works (i know a few but i always shouted 'hey, thats snape!' in my head), as a huge fan of the book, alan rickman will always be the most perfect snape.

i am rereading harry potter again after 2 years of reading zero books and after so many years since i've took the potter series off my dusty shelf...


and to brush up my rubbish grammar and vocabulary as well -_-"